Like for example: today something happened during class which my friend wanted to keep private. But me with my big mouth was telling that "something" happened. I didn't tell my classmates her name. And yet still she still heard it from people. And she wasn't to happy about it. Shortly after that she wrote a whatsapp message. And I instantly knew it was about me.
And that made me feel so bad. As honest and direct as I am I sent her message. I apologized for what I said. And promised her to never say something before thinking about it. And this wasn't even so bad. But it really got me thinking: " should I think before I speak? Do I need to shut my mouth at certain times? ". Of course I do. But I also think that it depends on the situation. For example : when I'm mad at someone I tend to say things that will hurt them. While in my heart I know I shouldn't. But at time I'm so angry, I really can't think straight anymore.
The reason I am writing this blog is because today we had interesting class. It was about our characteristics. And one the things people said about me that I was insecure and clumsy. And they were all right. I am insecure and clumsy but I'm also direct, disciplined and a hard worker. But our class mentor said something that really got to me. He said : " you can be honest, you can be tough, but be aware of the fact that you eventually will end up building a wall around you". I said nothing. But I instantly knew that this is what I've been doing for several years now. I need to learn to express myself more. People think I'm tough? I'm not. I pretend to be. People sometimes think I say thing for spite. I don't. I'm honest.
What I'm trying to say is "think before you speak". Word sometimes can cut like a knife.
PS: This blog may be shorter than you would normally expect. This is because I wrote this on my phone! xoxo
